"So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should removed from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect."
Hebrews 12:1-2 NCV
So this was the last chapter in my book. Overall, it was a good book. I did learn some stuff, though this struggle is still a huge battle for me. But I have another book that I will be starting on the topic which I'm sure I'll blog about as well.
In the very beginning of this chapter the author stated something that sounds just like me...as if she was directing the comment at me. "Many of us may know truth, but our hearts haven't embraced it. We may speak it, but it isn't reflected in our thinking or actions. Our vision has shifted from Jesus to what He can give us, then over to others, then back to ourselves, and everywhere in between.....one huge distraction and lie along the way that we fall prey to is the trap of comparisons." This is exactly where my problem lies. I know the truth on this matter, but my heart hasn't embraced it. I don't even know why because I know it's in the Scriptures so it's obviously true, but yet I can't wrap my heart and mind around it. And she nailed it on the head when she said that comparisons is a huge distraction. I am constantly finding myself comparing me to other women who look great! Wishing desperately that I just could look like them. Women that are thin--the perfect size. Women with fabulous skin or hair. Women that are outgoing. Women that don't have the hormone imbalance that I have to daily deal with. I'm always comparing myself to these other women and never measuring up to that standard I so badly want in my mind and seeing that they do. It's a bad habit for me to be doing such a thing, but I can't help it. It just happens when I see it. But I feel helpless to do anything about it. Like I'll never be able to change. God, please help me with this! I feel like I will never conquer this battle! Only You can help me!
This is what Melinda Doolittle says on the topic of comparing and competing with others, "To me, that passage (Psalm 139:13-16) says that we matter to God: he made us, and even before we were born, He established a plan for our lives. We cannot base our estimation of ourselves on the fickle opinions of other people. That's why I believe I am only in competition with myself. Certainly, I want to be the best "me" possible, so I work at my craft. I try to take good care of my body, mind and spirit. But I don't base my self esteem on someone else's idea of who I should be. Funny, may images of celebrities or models in magazines nowadays are "computer enhanced", altered to look better by someone who is handy with a mouse. The images themselves are not even real, much less valid comparisons. So rather than comparing yourself to anyone else, simply relax and enjoy being the person God made you to be. You are your own competition. In fact, you are your only competition."
The last quote I wanted to mention before I end this blog on the book. "Intimacy is surrendering every single part of us to Him so He can grow us to look more like Him--seeing with His eyes, loving with His love, walking in His will, and being obedient in what He has called us to do. It is realizing we don't have to perform, but that He is doing the work in and through us." This was a pretty powerful quote. I can't say that I've been able to do this fully. Am I willing to surrender every part of me to Him? Even this battle I'm fighting? I desperately do want to be more like Him. That is my hearts one desire, but to do this means understanding and accepting this truth that I am beautiful. God, help allow Your truth to take hold of my heart. Help break down this wall in my life and allow me to be more like You! I love you, God!
I want to end with the prayer that the author ended her book with. I want this to be my prayer!
"Lord, I come and give myself to You as an offering. Take every part of me--from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, from the innermost parts to the outermost parts. Take the best of me and the rest of me. Take my heart, because I can't do it on my own. I am a sinner saved only by Your grace. Apart from You, there is nothing good or beautiful in me. Holy Spirit, come into my heart and begin to move, begin to uncover the lies that are buried there about who You are--Your character and Your heart--about who I am, how I see myself, about my body, and my relationship with You. Reveal Yourself and the truths You want me to discover about who You made me to be. Give me the desire and the strength to take steps to walk in that privilege. Show me what real and intimate relationship with You is like. I want to walk in the desires of Your heart. Amen"
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