Storms of Life

So it's been a pretty rough past couple of days...make that weeks, ok months! I feel I need to just write everything down and get it all out!!! I've really just not enjoyed my semester which kind of is a bummer since it was my last semester as a college student! I thought living off of campus was going to be the greatest thing which it was (for the first half)! Classes are not fun or easy...I've actually been ready to throw in the towel on more than one occasion this semester...lucky for me I've had some people that have not let me do that! lol. They have encouraged me to keep going! Throw a surgery into the semester and recovery time kind of stinks too. Then for about a week it all started to look up again (That's probably when you all read my last blog lol)......then back down it has gone! I actually told a friend today that I wished I had stayed in the dorms (*never thought I'd hear myself say that one!). You hear the saying, "Drama, drama, drama...." well, that about sums up my semester! Drama and emotional choas! I just feel physically drained from trying to keep up with school and with my health. I feel emotionally drained with relationship issues. And I feel spiritually drained. Besides my family which I love so much and wish I could be with them right now...only 1 person has really helped me through everything and kept me going and that's Debbie! (Thanks Deb!) I just have grown to love her and respect her so much over the past few years and enjoy talking and spending time with her!!

All this time I've been wondering where God has been through all of this because I haven't felt His help or guidance through any of it. I've cried more times than I can count this semester and I've yelled at God for more things than I probably should have. Done things I regret. But I can't take any of the stuff back. But what I can do is ask for God's forgiveness. Ask for Him to help me get back up and start over. It won't be easy. It might not even be fun at times. There was one day when I was crying my eyes out texting a friend and asking why my life has never been easy....but God never promised easy. And He's just making me stronger for what He has in store for me! God does have a plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 has been the verse I've always clung to. Brian Hansen has been the speaker in chapel the past few days and Tuesday he spoke on the Storms of Life and how some of us are facing storms in our lives and it's not easy and we need to trust God--give it all to God!!! He said in his message, "Can you be right where God wants you to be and things be still be difficult? Can you be right where God wants you to be and life go wrong?--Yes! Yes you can!" (Ok, Ben maybe I paid a little more attention than I thought I did :))We need to give it all over to God...I know, easier said than done but it's so worth it! His ways are higher than ours! He knows what He's doing. I know I feel like I won't make it through this semester, but I just have to remember that God can bring me through! (and that I only have 38 days until graduation!!!!!) I guess I gotta remember and remind myself that God is in control and try harder at putting Him first. Life will be so much more rewarding!