I'm Trying, God!

It's been quite a while since I've written on this thing. I've definitely had my ups and downs since the last time I wrote. I'm finishing up week 3 of my Christmas break! One more full week left. I don't know how I feel about that. However, I've come across a predicament that could keep me from finishing my last semester of my senior year....books! I don't have the money for my books...$250 for these books and I don't have it and with living off campus I have to have my own books. So, no books=no school. I'm really upset about it and am trying really hard to trust God. Trust is a hard thing to do, especially when it appears there is no way it could work out. I've been praying every day that God will provide somehow. Some miracle. I know God is totally capable to work a great miracle. The impossible is possible with Him. I just keep wondering why do I have to deal with all these financial issues? Because not being able to pay for books is far from the only financial bind that I'm in! So why me? Why all of this all at once? And why is He taking so long to provide? I want to trust...I really do! I'm trying, God!

I can't answer why I have to deal with this, but I'm going to keep striving to place all my trust in God. I know He can and will provide. I struggle with a lot of issues when it comes to trusting God. Like trusting Him for all these health issues that come up. Trusting Him for why I am still single and that He does have an awesome guy out there for me somewhere. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines trust as (n.) assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. I KNOW God's character enough to know He has the ability and strength to provide. So why is this a struggle? TRUST...

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Psalm 20:7

“Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.”

Psalm 9:10

“And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”

2 Samuel 22:31

“As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.”

Nahum 1:7

"The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble;
And He knows those who trust in Him."

So many verses about TRUSTING in God. He really does love and care for me. I'm not deserving of His grace but He constantly shows me it. Thank you, God! Help me in the times I don't want to trust. I need You! I love you!