"Breaking the Cultural Mirror"

"So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should removed from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect."

Hebrews 12:1-2 NCV

So this was the last chapter in my book. Overall, it was a good book. I did learn some stuff, though this struggle is still a huge battle for me. But I have another book that I will be starting on the topic which I'm sure I'll blog about as well. 

In the very beginning of this chapter the author stated something that sounds just like me...as if she was directing the comment at me. "Many of us may know truth, but our hearts haven't embraced it. We may speak it, but it isn't reflected in our thinking or actions. Our vision has shifted from Jesus to what He can give us, then over to others, then back to ourselves, and everywhere in between.....one huge distraction and lie along the way that we fall prey to is the trap of comparisons." This is exactly where my problem lies. I know the truth on this matter, but my heart hasn't embraced it. I don't even know why because I know it's in the Scriptures so it's obviously true, but yet I can't wrap my heart and mind around it. And she nailed it on the head when she said that comparisons is a huge distraction. I am constantly finding myself comparing me to other women who look great! Wishing desperately that I just could look like them. Women that are thin--the perfect size. Women with fabulous skin or hair. Women that are outgoing. Women that don't have the hormone imbalance that I have to daily deal with. I'm always comparing myself to these other women and never measuring up to that standard I so badly want in my mind and seeing that they do. It's a bad habit for me to be doing such a thing, but I can't help it. It just happens when I see it. But I feel helpless to do anything about it. Like I'll never be able to change. God, please help me with this! I feel like I will never conquer this battle! Only You can help me!

This is what Melinda Doolittle says on the topic of comparing and competing with others, "To me, that passage (Psalm 139:13-16) says that we matter to God: he made us, and even before we were born, He established a plan for our lives. We cannot base our estimation of ourselves on the fickle opinions of other people. That's why I believe I am only in competition with myself. Certainly, I want to be the best "me" possible, so I work at my craft. I try to take good care of my body, mind and spirit. But I don't base my self esteem on someone else's idea of who I should be. Funny, may images of celebrities or models in magazines nowadays are "computer enhanced", altered to look better by someone who is handy with a mouse. The images themselves are not even real, much less valid comparisons. So rather than comparing yourself to anyone else, simply relax and enjoy being the person God made you to be. You are your own competition. In fact, you are your only competition." 

The last quote I wanted to mention before I end this blog on the book. "Intimacy is surrendering every single part of us to Him so He can grow us to look more like Him--seeing with His eyes, loving with His love, walking in His will, and being obedient in what He has called us to do. It is realizing we don't have to perform, but that He is doing the work in and through us." This was a pretty powerful quote. I can't say that I've been able to do this fully. Am I willing to surrender every part of me to Him? Even this battle I'm fighting? I desperately do want to be more like Him. That is my hearts one desire, but to do this means understanding and accepting this truth that I am beautiful. God, help allow Your truth to take hold of my heart. Help break down this wall in my life and allow me to be more like You! I love you, God!

I want to end with the prayer that the author ended her book with. I want this to be my prayer!

"Lord, I come and give myself to You as an offering. Take every part of me--from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, from the innermost parts to the outermost parts. Take the best of me and the rest of me. Take my heart, because I can't do it on my own. I am a sinner saved only by Your grace. Apart from You, there is nothing good or beautiful in me. Holy Spirit, come into my heart and begin to move, begin to uncover the lies that are buried there about who You are--Your character and Your heart--about who I am, how I see myself, about my body, and my relationship with You. Reveal Yourself and the truths You want me to discover about who You made me to be. Give me the desire and the strength to take steps to walk in that privilege. Show me what real and intimate relationship with You is like. I want to walk in the desires of Your heart. Amen"

 

"When The Tent Begins to Sag, Keep Your Eyes On The Mansion"

"We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less."

2 Corinthians 5:5 MSG

Well I have to admit this chapter was not as good as I was hoping. Ok, so it was good but not helpful for what I'm struggling with. I think was meant to be but I don't see how. The chapter talked about how when we get to heaven we will receive new, glorified and perfect bodies. Which is great and exciting to look forward to, but I don't know how that is supposed to help me feel better about how I look now and how I am. I did, however, want to share something that I found in this chapter. The author used to help out at a retirement community and she pointed out some of the life lessons: 

• "Three keys to living a joyful and victorious life: Jesus Christ, a positive attitude, and a thankful heart. We have a choice when life throws the tough stuff at us. We can choose to keep our eyes on these and rise above the situation, or we can choose to keep our eyes on ourselves and become negative and bitter."
• "Relationships are what matter in life. The time and investment we make in others determine the dividends we receive later."
• "Life isn't fair no matter what our age and stage of life because we live in a broken world."
• "Our faith in Jesus is all that remains when life has stripped us of what the earth deems valuable."
• "Healing can sometimes come slowly, but with every trace of it we can be assured we're headed in the right direction."
• "We naturally assign ourselves value by what we do, not by who (or whose) we are. And because of it, we struggle when change occurs."
• "To grow older can be difficult, but to grow older with Jesus is beautiful. Our bodies will deteriorate, but inwardly we are being renewed every day (2 Corinthians 4:16)."

While the chapter didn't really help me with this constant battle I'm struggling with, I found those life lessons extremely good and helpful just for life in general. The first one especially stuck out to me. Really, it's true! To get through life that is really all we need. Jesus Christ, first and foremost. A positive attitude. A thankful heart. I know I'm not always good at keeping my focus on these three things, but it is my goal to do so with whatever life throws at me.

Another thing I had underlined was "when we turn our eyes to Jesus, when we soak in His declaration of who He is and who we are because of Him, the lies give way to truth and our discontentment becomes celebration! Keep looking up!" Oh, how I wish I can have this truth sink into my heart and mind. That's my problem is the truth doesn't seem to be able to really sink in like it needs to. I know what the truth is, but struggle to accept and truly believe it. God, I yearn and long to really know and accept this truth that I am beautiful to You!! Please open my eyes and heart. Show me I'm a beautiful daughter of the King!

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

"You Mean I Get A Servant With This House?"

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 NIV

I think this chapter was probably my favorite so far. I'm not going to write about everything I underlined because I would be here all night. I don't know, maybe all the chapters have been this great but I'm just now starting to grow in this area so my eyes were opened to more of the truths held within the chapter--which are contained in the Scriptures. A lot of this chapters focus was on exercise--yep, I said the dreaded word! The author actually tries to convince everyone that exercise really IS good for us...hmmm who would've known! lol. 

The first point I wanted to highlight from the chapter was when the author states, "because our bodies are a valuable gift, to care for them is an act of love and respect--to God, to others, and to ourselves." The author, Jocelyn Hamsher has us take a good look at what self-care really looks like! Exercise. Balanced nutrition. Massage therapy. A good night sleep. Doing something that we really enjoy doing. All these things are just some of the ways that self-care looks like. Hamsher gives the example of how it would be if she borrowed her best friends car and then recklessly banged up the car and trashed the inside? Of course anyone that did that would feel awful! How is not taking care of our bodies any different than trashing our friends car? Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit! Jesus Christ dwells within us and so we are we to make our bodies become master! But really, why shouldn't I want to take care of myself? Why wouldn't I take care of something far more precious given to me by someone far more important who loves me far greater?

A very good question was later asked in the chapter that really causes me to think. "What or who is controlling your body?" Wow! I had never thought of that. I didn't really know how to answer that question when I first read it. But when it comes down to it, I found several things to be controlling my body rather than allowing God to have control of this area. Food with the lack of exercise was a big thing. I spent a lot of time complaining about how I look, yet I always eat more food and do less exercise if any at all! So now, who's fault really is it if I don't look "good". Yeah well as much as I hate to admit it, it's mine. I've been better recently with this than I used to be. Trying to get into the habit of daily exercise and eating less. Another very big thing that I have let control my body (probably actually the key thing) is society. I was letting society and their standard for perfection to guide and control how I thought I needed to look. I was allowing society to determine my worth rather than letting God determine my worth. 

Probably my favorite statement in this book so far was in context with speaking on the importance of exercise and how we see our bodies. "The focus has turned from losing weight to the bigger picture of better health. The focus has turned from being approved of by others to the bigger picture of being responsible for taking care of God's dwelling place. The focus has changed from seeing my body as master to the bigger picture of seeing my body as a servant." I have never ever been able to think of my body that way...but I want to! My body has certainly been the master of my life! But the author goes on to point out that our bodies were a gift to us by God to be a servant for us to use to bless God and others. To love and to appreciate. And for me to accomplish what God has called and purposed me to do. I pray that I will soon learn to view my body in this way! I no longer want my body and how I look to control my life! 

The author wraps up the chapter by telling us how we can accomplish all this. First, we need to be intentional. We need to do something about it! It's making the decision ahead of time and then doing it. We need to be intentional in both our physical and spiritual lives! Intentionally make time for exercising and taking care of yourself physically. And then intentionally make time to be in God's Word and prayer daily to take care of yourself spiritually. Second, we must stay focused! Where our eyes are fixed is so vital, because everything else in us will just follow. Once we have set up a plan we must strive to stay focused in accomplishing it. The author states that proper focus builds endurance! Finally, we must make our bodies servants. Training means we choose to look and treat our bodies as servants and no longer as our masters. Ways we see this accomplished is through exercising. Through self-restraint. By not giving into every want and craving that we may have. And in time, it will become easier for us. "Then when we give God all of us, we can trust in Him to lead us to a new place of health and life--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually--in His time and in His way."

"Life is more than just getting through a workout, it's getting through trials, times of waiting, disappointments, frustrations, and heartbreak. But these times aren't spent in vain when we bring them before Jesus. He can turn tragedy into tenderness, pain into patience, failure into faith, struggle into surrender, trial into tenacity, temptation into triumph. So, how do we train physically and spiritually? Be intentional, stay focused, and make our bodies servants."

~Jocelyn Hamsher

 

"Why Does My Arm Keep Waving After My Hand Has Stopped?"

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." 

Proverbs 31:30 NIV

I have just finished chapter three...finally. I am coming to realize I am definitely not a reader or I just have too much to read, but it's good for me so I will make it through :) This chapter was pretty good...but I realize I've been struggling with constantly thinking I am fat a lot this past week or two. The lies continually flood my mind and there's days I feel like I'm drowning in this struggle I face. But, I know I don't want to deal with these thoughts anymore so I'm going to fight this out until the end!

Something that I read at the beginning of the chapter really struck me. The author states, "Like the others, they initially grieved, but their negative body image continued to affect their attitude as a whole, which in turn affected all areas of their life." That statement really made me think. Is this true of me? Has the negative way I viewed my body poured out into other areas of my life? How was this negative attitude toward my body affecting others around me? All these questions were good for me to ask myself because it challenged me to really have that desire to change. I do not want to be known as a woman that is constantly negative and always down. I want others to see Christ shine through my life and how could that be accomplished if I am  so focused on my self-image and going against the truth of God's Word that says I AM beautiful in His sight? Wow...that seems deep but very impacting on my life. 

The next part in the chapter that I underlined I loved! The author was speaking of a friend of hers who had fought breast cancer and had to have both of her breasts surgically removed! How hard that must have been for her to face such a trial in her life. But she acted with grace and faith in her loving God. She stated, "A lot of women think they will be noticed with tight clothes or plummeting necklines, when in reality the real attraction is the look on their face, their smile, their attitude, the way they convey themselves to others. To me, it's a lie to think the real attraction is all physical, because I have experienced something else." Seriously, that was probably the best statement I could have read. For a woman that had to face such a trying time in her life was able to walk away from it saying that--she really understood that she was beautiful to God no matter what! Society pushes such inappropriate and revealing styles for women and make it seem that if you don't dress to those standards or look a certain way than you're worth nothing basically. But that's not what matters to God and it shouldn't be what matters to us either; though most of us are guilty of making that our focus. But what would it look like if every man and woman focused on what was inside! The look on their face. Their smile. Their attitude. The way they convey themselves to others. Well that would be amazing to see, but unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world where that would be true. Society has distorted how God intended things to be. Lord, I pray you give me the grace and faith to see myself and others as You do!

"We may not always have a choice as to the change that comes, but we do have a choice as to how we will deal with it. Just like with anything else in life, we can choose to react or respond when it comes." This statement stuck out to me as well. When it comes to my self-image I know I have always chosen to react and not in a good way. Constantly putting myself down and mistreating my body all because I thought it would make up for the way I looked. But what would it look like if I chose to respond rather than react. Responding to the way I look, as the author puts it, would be to acknowledge that we might not necessarily like how our body looks or has changed but realizing what we do have. What blessings we have been given. Responding is opening our eyes to a new perspective. Responding is sitting back and looking at Jesus. Jesus is our beauty. "As physical change may be affecting us outwardly, He is beautifying us inwardly in character and faith." So rather than reacting I choose to respond!

"Beauty lies in a woman who fears the Lord, a woman who loves and reverences Jesus Christ, who submits to Him as Lord of her life and lover of her soul" - Jocelyn Hamsher