"Duct Tape, Underwire, and Other Transforming Thoughts"

"For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him."

Colossians 1:16 NIV

I finished chapter two of my book...I am struggling still to see how this will be of any success in helping me. But I am trying to remain positive! And I am not saying at all that it isn't a good book and the truths are definitely there, but I seem to be having trouble letting it sink into my thoughts and my heart. I'm sure it just takes time before I will begin to actually see myself as beautiful. It is extremely helpful having encouragement from friends and my very supportive and caring boyfriend though! That alone does make me want to fix this problem of mine. 

Something that stuck out to me in this chapter was how the author was talking about how sacred and valuable our bodies are! She states, "We are not talking about your body's appearance right now, but how sacred and valuable it truly is. We are talking about its purpose, its dignity, and the high calling of what it was made to do and who it was made for. That alone makes your body absolutely beautiful." That statement just really struck hard for me and it still is sinking in, but has a very clear message to me. I really need to be able to just push aside the value and importance I have placed on my physical appearance (yes, I believe it's important to remain healthy and take care of one's body) and rather place that focus on why my body was made and what it was made for as she stated. It was made to honor and glorify God through all I do with it. That is what should be important to me! Am I really glorifying and honoring God when I call myself fat or ugly? No I don't believe so because He is the creator of it and He sees all of His creation as beautiful.  So I really need to train my mind and ask God daily to change my thinking in this area because I want nothing more than to honor Him!

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God--you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration--what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day."

Psalm 139:13-16 MSG

Something else that she pointed out was that we are God's masterpiece! I'm not an amazing artist or anything, but I really appreciate and am fascinated by great works of art. So I loved how we are called God's workmanship or masterpiece! He sees us as this amazing work of art and out of all God's works, we are His most excellent! She went on to say how David saw himself as God wants us to. He was wowed at how God had created him! I want to be able to see myself as beautiful and a work of art just as David did...just as Christ does! The author showed us that "when David looked at his body his focus shifted to the magnificence and majesty of God". Wow! That just amazes me that he could do that and that is exactly what I want for myself. I need to begin to start reminding myself of truths every time a negative thought enters my mind. It'll take some discipline for sure, but I am willing to work through this with God's help! 

Ok, this chapter was better than I originally remembered now that I am going back to blog about it! I feel I have so much to comment on. She says a friend of hers commented on Psalm 139 after really digging deep into and thinking about it and said, "as she read these verses again, she realized God not only saw her strengths and good points when He was crafting her, but that He also saw her weaknesses, her imperfections, her struggles and her flaws as well. And He still proceeded to create her. He did it with an unconditional, unfailing, lavish kind of love and joy because she was His. Her uniqueness, originality, and design were a reflection of God's mind, heart, and creativity. He created her and called her beautiful." That to me was just really cool to read! A very good way to think about your body and to reflect on Psalm 139! I pray that I can see this with that thought! 

One last thing I wanted to point out was where it said, "our bodies were meant to worship, to declare the greatness of the only true and living God." A huge portion of this chapter focused on this topic. We are meant to worship God all the time and this includes with our body. In all that we do with it! So that is my desire and goal. I want Christ to be exalted in my body! And in everything I do! 

"Our bodies are designed to worship Jesus, expressing love and gratitude toward Him."

-Jocelyn Hamsher

 

"Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?"

I have decided to do something I have never really done before; I am going to blog about a book ("Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?" by Jocelyn Hamsher) I am reading chapter by chapter. I know it's not going to be easy going through this and writing about it. I know I will end up writing all my deepest thoughts and thus making me feel vulnerable, but I am going to do it nonetheless. I am currently struggling with something in my life--actually that's even understating it because I am deeply and severely struggling with this issue--I can't seem to see myself how I know I should be. I look in the mirror and all I can see if FAT and UGLY. Two words that no one ever wants to hear yet that's all I can hear going through my head as I see my reflection in a mirror. And the thing is everyone tells me otherwise but I still can't seem to bring myself to believe it. So the idea came to mind that I should maybe start doing a devotional book on how God sees me. I guess I am hoping that reading it and reinforcing the truth that I am beautiful in God's eyes will help and truly sink into my heart and mind. I will be honest and can't see how I will be able to drop this mentality that I've had for over 8 years now. It almost seems like it's just part of me and who I am, but my great friend constantly reminds me that it is possible! God can take these thoughts out of my mind and help me to see myself how He sees me! So here we go.....

Chapter One, "Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?" was a good read. It started out with a verse in Romans.

"Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." 

Romans 12:2 MSG

When I read a book I tend to underline what I think is really good and that's really what I focus on and take away from that reading. They did state that with today's society it is extremely common for someone (particularly girls) to think this way of themselves. 8 out of 10 women struggle with body dissatisfaction! I mean, seriously, how can we not with how the world is pushing that we should look?! Apparently I am supposed to be a size 0 waist with a huge chest....well let me tell you I am FAR from that! And I know I can never be that nor do I want to be that small but yeah, I'm one of those 8 that's not happy with how I look at all. I do want to be smaller and be able to look at myself for once and say I'm skinny. 

The first thing I took away from this chapter was where it said, "And so it is with our bodies. We are walking around looking in mirrors without seeing the entire, true, and beautiful picture". I had to think to myself...what is that then? What is the entire, true and beautiful picture? Right now every time I hear that I shouldn't think this way because God sees me as beautiful I just don't understand that. First of all, how can He really think that?! Look at me! But also, he created me so yeah He's going to think He did a good job. Then going along with that thought I begin to think, WOW I'm basically saying God didn't do a good job by thinking this way and I know that's wrong thinking but I just want to be able to see it! I want to know how He can possibly see me that way. 

Second little part I found in this chapter was that "we are attempting to be someone else and missing out on who God made us to be." I really do desire to be the woman God made me to be...seriously, I do! Then I look in a mirror and say really God? You had to make me look like this?! Can't I just be thinner but still be me? Once again a wrong way to think, but I can't help but think it! I guess it is a start to be recognizing where my wrong thinking lies. A very small step in something that will not fix itself over night--but a step nonetheless. Hey, I gotta try to think positively in this process so every little bit counts! 

The last quote that I underlined in this first chapter was this: "What if we made our bodies less about us and more about Jesus?" Oh man...now if that doesn't guilt me for how I think then I don't know what will! And yes, I do feel guilty about, but it's a struggle not to. When something doesn't fit right anymore or I see the little belly bulge or see someone that just looks perfect it frustrates me. But really that is being selfish, right? I guess I'm supposed to remember that God created me and my body belongs to Him really. So I should be glorifying Him in all I think and do with my body! Yes, I included the word think because God does see us as beautiful so we should do the same. I just pray for God to please allow me to see myself as He does! Please, God! I don't want this to be a constant struggle! I want my body to be more about You! Not about me and what I want!

One of the questions in the end of the chapter asked "How much of your perspective regarding your body has been about God?" and my answer even was a disappointment to myself! How can it not be disappointing to God then? I wrote 0% of my perspective has been about God in regard to my body! I have a focus on looking good so I have pushed aside what I know to be the truth. I have given total disregard to how I know God sees me. 

"For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7 ESV

Dear God, I cry out to you as I begin this journey in seeing myself as You see me! I want to feel beautiful! Give me the strength I will need, the encouragement I will need and the heart I will need to change this constant battle I have been struggling with for so long now. Only You can fix me. God, please take control of this area in my life! I am Yours....a daughter of the King! ~Amen