Blessings

    These past few weeks have been quite stressful and overwhelming for me. I'm over my head in homework for classes I don't really understand, over my head in bills that I can't pay, and severe migraines daily taking over! I've come to a point where I don't even think I can handle it...I've been kind of waiting to just lose it emotionally! We had a simple "project" our RA wanted us to do this past week where we write down something that God blessed us with in that week (or how He worked in our life that week) and I felt horrible because that whole week I couldn't think of anything because I felt like everything was going wrong in my life...but I didn't want to say that God didn't work in my life...that doesn't sound good. I haven't been doing well with giving time for God because I've let my homework and friends take place before that and I know that didn't help! These past few days though I have been able to do better and have spent a considerable amount of time praying more because I had totally let that go these past several weeks. I felt so much better.

    Then today I read my devotional by Mary Southerland and it was called "Put That Burden Down!" I read the title and knew it was going to be something I needed...and it was! She talked about how we have so many burdens we will carry around every day (financial, physical, academically, emotionally) that weigh us down. We are told in Matthew 11:28 to "come all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest". Jesus is our Shepherd and wants to carry those burdens for us. We cannot deal with them on our own and need His help! I've been trying to hand all these things over to God and it's been hard. I'd tell Him that I'm giving them over to Him but then I still would sit and worry about it! I'm going to work really hard at leaving all these things at His feet because I know He will care for me! What burden do you have? What is weighing you down? Bring it to Jesus. He will comfort and guide you. He will give you rest. Right now, in the midst of that worry or issue or concern, the God of the universe is asking you to turn it over to Him. Let Him work it out in His timing and His perfect way. 

    

    I know some of these things may seem small that I am dealing with compared to what I know others I know are going through, but this song I heard last night really encouraged me and has stuck with me since then...I can't get it out of my head! 

"Blessings"

By Laura Story 

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise 

"Lord, I bring my burdens to You, knowing that I can do nothing apart from You and Your power. You know my situation. It is not a surprise to You, Lord. Please fill my heart with Your peace and comfort my soul. Guide me, Father. Give me strength. I give You my burdens; please give me Your rest. In Jesus’ name,
Amen."

Is There a Light at the End of This Tunnel?

    So I have to admit I have not been doing as well with my devotions as I'd hope to. I've been letting my piles and piles of homework take priority = ( Which is NOT good at all! I've been trying to be better this week about it which is been somewhat successful so far...it does help that this is the first time that I've been ahead on homework! But I really want to work this semester on continually growing closer in my relationship with Christ. I've come a long way since high school and even since the first few years of college, but still not where I need to be. I know I'll spend my whole life growing though! But I want to become a woman after God's own heart and I really do desire to serve Him with my whole life.
   
    Yeah, is there a light at the end of this tunnel? What tunnel you might ask? I've been struggling severely with finances the past couple months and it hasn't gotten any better! I'm trying to pay off my bills and it just doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. I have accumulated bills that total around $1000 and a very small income paying job. I have to pay my $100 hospital bill from the summer, which I've been putting off...I have my $240 credit card bill that I used to pay for my school books...and I owe my dad $750 for my car repair which he initially paid for. I'm really trying to trust God and not freak out about these bills!!! But honestly it's really hard not knowing where this money is going to come from. And I still have to pay phone bills and gas and such. This past week I did come up with an idea to save me some money that I did put into action...it cost me a bit of money to start but I can make up that money within no time with what I save--I ended my AT&T cell phone contract that was costing me around $75-80/month (and that was the cheapest plan they had) and switched to a Virgin Mobile pay-as-you-go phone that you can put on a monthly unlimited plan but it's not under contract for $35/month........that saved me $40-$45/month!!! So I had to pay some money to end the contract early and get the new phone but I can pay that off pretty quickly. So I was pretty excited about that. But trust has become a big thing in my life right now! Something I'm really trying hard at, but sometimes I see myself failing at! I know God will supply all my needs and these bills will get paid in time...and by God's grace my dad has been very gracious with waiting for any money and has not even asked about it. I know I'd feel pressured and overwhelmed if he kept asking for it, but yet I do know I have to pay him.

"My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy’s sake,
In paths of truth and grace."

"'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. Just to take Him at His Word; Just to rest upon His promise, Just to know, Thus says the Lord! Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!"